Air Traffic control – United States "Southern Style"

Dallas ATC: "Tower to Saudi Air 911. You are cleared to land Eastbound, Runway 9R"
Saudi Air: "Thank you Dallas. Acknowledge cleared to land on Infidel’s runway 9R. Allah be praised."
Dallas ATC: "Tower to Iran Air 711. You are cleared to land Westbound, runway 9R."
Iran Air: "Thank you Dallas. Acknowledge cleared to land on Infidels runway 9R. Allah is Great !!!. "

Pause…………static……………….

Saudi Air: "Dallas ATC. Dallas ATC !!!"
Dallas ATC: "Go ahead, Saudi Air 911."
Saudi Air: "You have cleared BOTH our aircraft for the same runway, going in opposite directions!! We are on a collision course!! Further instructions please!!!"
Dallas ATC: "Well bless yer hearts. Y’all be careful now, and tell Allah ‘hey’ for us, ya hear. Have a VERY nice day ya all!!!"