Tech Support

Tech support: “What kind of computer do you have?”
Female customer: “A white one...”

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Customer: “Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out.”
Tech support: “Have you tried pushing the button?”
Customer: “Yes, sure, it's really stuck.”
Tech support: “That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.”
Customer: “No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry...”

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Tech support: “Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.”
Customer: “Your left or my left?”

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Tech support: “Good day. How may I help you?”
Male customer: “Hello... I can't print.”

Tech support: “Would you click on "start" for me and...”
Customer: “Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates!”

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Customer: “Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...”

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Customer: “I have problems printing in red...”
Tech support: “Do you have a colour printer?”
Customer: “Aaaah....................thank you.”

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Tech support: “What's on your monitor now, ma'am?”
Customer: “A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.”

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Customer: “My keyboard is not working anymore.”
Tech support: “Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?”
Customer: “No. I can't get behind the computer.”
Tech support: “Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.”
Customer: “OK.”
Tech support: “Did the keyboard come with you?”
Customer: “Yes.”
Tech support: “That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?”
Customer: “Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...”

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Tech support: “Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.”
Customer: “Is that 7 in capital letters?”

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Customer: “I can't get on the Internet.”
Tech support: “Are you sure you used the right password?”
Customer: “Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.”
Tech support: “Can you tell me what the password was?”
Customer: “Five stars.”

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Tech support: “What anti-virus program do you use?”
Customer: “Netscape.”
Tech support: “That's not an anti-virus program.”
Customer: “Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.”

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Customer: “I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.”

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Tech support: “How may I help you?”
Customer: “I'm writing my first e-mail.”
Tech support: “OK, and what seems to be the problem?”
Customer: “Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?”

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: “Are you running it under windows?”
Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

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And last but not least...

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager.”
Customer: “I don't have a P.”
Tech support: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “What do you mean?”
Tech support: “”P”.....on your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!”