Bumper Stickers

Don't believe everything you think.

My feminine side is lesbian.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

Stable relationships are for horses.

Just say NO to negativity.

I thought I was indecisive; now I'm not so sure.

The winner of the rat race is still a rat.

The Moral Majority is neither.

Dyslexics Untie!

I love animals. They're delicious.

I poke badgers with spoons.

Be alert. The world needs more lerts.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to become a vegetarian!

Alcohol and calculus don't mix. DON'T DRINK AND DERIVE!

Kids in the back seat cause accidents; Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

Money is the root of all evil. For more information, send £10 to me.

That's not a haircut, it's a cry for help.

If you observe this vehicle being operated in an unsafe manner, please try to think of it as one more anomoly in the cosmic order.

If God is within, I hope he likes enchiladas!

So many stupid people, and so few asteroids.

Want a little taste of religion? Bite the minister.

I didn't believe in reincarnation in my last life, either!

Excess is never too much in moderation.

My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in most states.

To err is human, to moo bovine.

Think globally, Act galactically.

My wife says I should get up and go to work, but the voices in my head say I should stay home and clean my guns.

Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.

Help your local Search & Rescue. Get lost!

Carpe Diem = Seize the day. Carp In Denim = Fish in pants.

Life is short. So buy the shoes!

Never believe generalizations.

The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance.

I don't think, therefore I am not.

Jesus loves you. But I'm his favorite.

This bumper sticker intentionally left blank.

When you do a good deed, get a receipt in case heaven is like the IRS.

What would Gandalf do?

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

Resistance is futile (if > 1 ohm).

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

The control key on the keyboard does not work.

The meek shall inherit the earth, after we're through with it.

If you believe in telepathy, think about honking.

I plan to live forever. So far, so good!

Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.

Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.

Veni, Vidi, Velcro. I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

I am not infantile, you stinky poopyhead.

I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability.

To err is human, to blame it on somebody else shows management potential.

If you can read this, I've lost the trailer!

I fought the lawn, and the lawn won.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

Gravity: It's not just a good idea. It's the law.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

You - Off my planet.

And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep.

I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.

I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?

Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?

I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Above all else, sky.

The trouble with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.

Anything not worth doing is not worth doing well.

First things first, but not necessarily in that order.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to ME.

So you're a feminist. Isn't that cute?

Out of my mind - back in five minutes.

Without ME, it's just AWESO.

Life would be easier if I had the source code.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Rap is to music as Etch-A-Sketch is to art.

EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.

If you can read this, I can hit my brakes and sue you.

Veni, Vedi, Visa: I Came, I Saw, I did a little shopping.

What if the Hokey Kokey is really what it's all about?

If at first you don't succeed, call it version 1.0!

Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and those who don't.

Honk if you've never seen a gun fired from a moving vehicle.

Thank God I'm an atheist.

Never knock on Death's door. Ring the bell and run, he hates that.

If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.

Keep the dream alive: Hit the snooze button.