A winter's tale

I feel sure this one will please

MOST EMBARRASSING EXPERIENCE

It was midwinter, snowing and very cold. On their first date together he had taken her skiing and it had been great fun, but relatively uneventful until they were on their way home that afternoon.

As they drove down the winding mountain road she realised she should have
taken the opportunity to visit the rest room before they left. It would be almost an hour before they could reach habitation. When she became more uncomfortable he suggested she should try to hold on, but the combination of snow and their slow progress convinced her that she would never make it.
"We'd better stop now" she said, "Or it will be on your front seat !"

They stopped. She quickly jumped out, tottered to the rear of the car, and hunkered down. It was difficult in the deep snow to maintain balance so she
leaned on the rear bumper to steady herself. Her companion, a real gentleman, stood at the side of the car watching for oncoming traffic. Despite her somewhat embarrassing situation, she felt only blessed relief. However she soon became aware of quite a different sensation; as she bent to pull up her panties she discovered that her buttocks were firmly frozen to the car bumper. Her thoughts raced to memories of small fingers sticking to icy metal runners of sleds, as she tried to disengage herself from the car.

Horrified by her plight, yet aware of the humour of the situation, she answered her companion's concern about the delay with the reply "I'm freezing my butt off here, and I need your help !" As he approached around the car she tried to cover herself with her sweater, but then as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too got the giggles, but as their laughter subsided they realised they were faced with a real problem. It was clear it required something warm to free her from the icy metal. Suddenly it dawned upon them that what had given rise to their difficulty might be the answer to their predicament . .

As she looked away, her first date unzipped his trousers and proceed to urinate against the bumper .

. . so now you know the origin of the term "pissed off"